Half a foot

As many of you know I have been single most of my life. Yes, my baby has a daddy and we were married. So anyway my friend of many years must have felt sorry for me during one of my pitiful stories while he was checking my sinus's.. He tells me of his wife's cousin's friends uncle..I don't really remember but the point is I didn't find him myself which may be good or bad not sure. So I agree to meet the guy. Blind dates are not easy for anyone, and I am no exception. I meet the guy, I think we go to a restaurant, was a long time ago. He and I go to the lake just a few blocks from my home, we are sitting and looking at the lake,the snakes, and the moon, romantic right, well then it started. As we are sitting and talking and I am secretly watching my watch because as nice as he was, he wasn't MY nice guy. He turns to me and he says quietly, almost as if he is telling me a secret that he needs to tell me. My mind begins to do what it does best, stray.. I think to myself what the heck is he going to tell me on the first blind date that elicits such a strange beginning. I try to look at him like I care about what he is about to share. Again, we are sitting at the lake, in my car, in the dark..not the best place for a strange man to share his secret. So he says to me.." I have half a foot!" Well then my brain is spinning like the little ball does on the roulette game. What in the living shit does a woman say to a strange man in the park to the comment"I have half a foot." I quickly land on an answer and plan. In a nano second I decide that just my luck, this guy is a sex fiend and he is going to tell me about his "half a foot" then I jump to oh my gosh, he thinks I am a sex fiend and he thinks I CARE he has half a foot., and thennnn I think, if he plans on sharing that statement he won't have half a foot to tell about for much longer. He is staring at me, watching for my reaction. I make every attempt to look unalarmed, unamazed, unstartled, uninterested and to not tell him to get out and walk..who did he think he was, and what the heck did he think dinner gets a guy, not to mention..1/2 foot? was that a good thing or bad thing. So I tell him as nice as I can.."well that's good, that's not so bad, that's better than 5 inches." what does one say to that, I still don't know..I know one can laugh at certain points but this was not that point. He has a rather strange look on his face. He sits there for a minute, the frogs croak, the crickets crick, and my heart is pounding to get ready for that old fight or flight. Then I guess it registers with him what my response implied. He looks at me like I am an idiot..yes me the idiot. He continues and says..I have half a foot" I get it fella..half a foot..I don't care, get over it!!! He says finally "you don't understand" oh I understand. He says.. I was in a construction accident and half of my foot was chopped off..I have half a foot. I swear this is true. I look at him with an idiot look and again my faulty roulette brain has to say something..So I decide on two lifesaving questions: 1. How do you walk without falling down? 2. What do you do to keep your shoe from folding in half in the wrong place? His response "I put a sock in it, my shoe that is". I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. Needless to say the date ended quickly and I never heard from him, nor did my friend try to help again. My date with a man with half a foot.