This month (May) has been unbelievable hectic. Noel has had his shoulder rebuilt, and we know how men are when they are hurt. I missed 3 days of work to dote over him. Ummm, let me think, I didn’t get that much help when they broke my leg and shoved a titanium man’s knee joint in my bird leg. I did get a cold burrito and a watered down soda, which I was immensely grateful for, I think cause I am still being reminded of how “he took care of me” oh but I digress. I change his dressing, which means he has to sit down because he thinks he is going to faint. Faint I say!!! It’s two tiny cuts… oh my god how inconsiderate of me. I tell him that the two incisions will require two small bandaids.. I don’t think he hears me, cause he is about to seriously faint. What in the hell am I going to do with a 6’4 fainted guy in a tiny bathroom? I blow in his face, which almost turns him colors cause of my breath. He fusses at me, which hurts my feelings so I am not near as gentle with the application of the TWO bandaids. I have to fan him with the cool rag… back to my original statement.. triplets!!
Then I was hell bent on getting my eyelids reduced. Hell if insurance will pay for it why not! Let me tell you why not. Who knew that my eyebolla’s (Tonia’s term) would conspire to destroy what little looks I have. Oh I got the eyelids sucked and tucked alright. Mom’s eyelids didn’t rebel against the surgery she had. Not mine. I came home from the out patient surgery and rushed to see my lushious eyelids. “Oh shit!” was the only think I could think to say. I discover that I look like frankenstine instead of Flockhart. What the hell have I done! Again, my little angel is gone, he has dumped me off at home and off to where ever… what about the 3 days off I took? Bandaids, that’s it I’ll hide my stitches with bandaids. I am a smart girl, I think to myself. I sleep sitting up, no easy feat. I wake up to find that sleeping sitting up is harder than I thought. My eyebollas are swollen, and have a lovely shade of fire engine red around them. Nice!!! I have astronomy finals today. I am going to go and make the yellow toothed professor feel sorry for me. Bandaids!!! I put them on my poor little lids, only to have the bandaids stick to the stitches… what have I done? I get to school. Yep with sun glasses on. I think if I act just right maybe these younguns will think I am just totally cool. I am wearing a wornout tee shirt and a pair of baggy shorts. Cool. I make it to class, and remove my glasses. Laura and Tonia try to be nice, but the look on Laura’s face of squinty eyes and the sort of frown pretty much gives her away, then Tonia who always tries to find the nice… she says nothing, for a few, then asks me if it hurts. I just laugh until my stitches hurt. I still have stitches 1 week later. The huge black eye is better, and the swelling is better. I no longer get the “oh my god, who whipped your ass” reaction. I have to carry around these stitches for another week. This sucks. Would I do it again, well hell yes, I hate wrinkles and if that teeny tiny bit of fat is removed then it is worth it. Joan Rivers is my Idol!!!!!Pictures to follow.
Then I was hell bent on getting my eyelids reduced. Hell if insurance will pay for it why not! Let me tell you why not. Who knew that my eyebolla’s (Tonia’s term) would conspire to destroy what little looks I have. Oh I got the eyelids sucked and tucked alright. Mom’s eyelids didn’t rebel against the surgery she had. Not mine. I came home from the out patient surgery and rushed to see my lushious eyelids. “Oh shit!” was the only think I could think to say. I discover that I look like frankenstine instead of Flockhart. What the hell have I done! Again, my little angel is gone, he has dumped me off at home and off to where ever… what about the 3 days off I took? Bandaids, that’s it I’ll hide my stitches with bandaids. I am a smart girl, I think to myself. I sleep sitting up, no easy feat. I wake up to find that sleeping sitting up is harder than I thought. My eyebollas are swollen, and have a lovely shade of fire engine red around them. Nice!!! I have astronomy finals today. I am going to go and make the yellow toothed professor feel sorry for me. Bandaids!!! I put them on my poor little lids, only to have the bandaids stick to the stitches… what have I done? I get to school. Yep with sun glasses on. I think if I act just right maybe these younguns will think I am just totally cool. I am wearing a wornout tee shirt and a pair of baggy shorts. Cool. I make it to class, and remove my glasses. Laura and Tonia try to be nice, but the look on Laura’s face of squinty eyes and the sort of frown pretty much gives her away, then Tonia who always tries to find the nice… she says nothing, for a few, then asks me if it hurts. I just laugh until my stitches hurt. I still have stitches 1 week later. The huge black eye is better, and the swelling is better. I no longer get the “oh my god, who whipped your ass” reaction. I have to carry around these stitches for another week. This sucks. Would I do it again, well hell yes, I hate wrinkles and if that teeny tiny bit of fat is removed then it is worth it. Joan Rivers is my Idol!!!!!Pictures to follow.
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