It's Done!

I did it. I set myself free. I am officially retired! I know everyone must be sick of hearing me whine. I feel like the 3 faces of Eve..(the movie)well some, no most of yall are too young to remember the movie, lets go with Sybil (I was called that by one of the guys and I thought we were going to fight! J.D.!). Anyway, one moment I am so very sad at the thought of leaving the job I had put so much effort into, and so many feelings and concerns for so many people in that nice little Payton Place town. Yet, I feel like I have broken free from a bad marriage, a crazy date, an abusive husband. Most of the people at the department were hard working, kind, sincere people just trying to make a living, raise their kids, and maybe cheat a little on the side (just kidding!). Those people I will miss terribly. The few, the 3-4 people who belittled my friends, screamed at them, said mean, unnecessary things to me. Those 2-3 that used their position to retaliate because I did not think like they wanted me to, because I was vocal about the inconsistencies, the fact I would not shut up and that I did not believe all people in our little Payton Place were drunks and losers. Someone else's words, not mine.I have paid a high price for the fact that I believe the peace at any price is simply not worth it. I loved my job, when I was able to do my job. I have said before, I was not hired to write tickets, or to knock on doors to tell someone to shut their dog up. I did those jobs, I paid my dues, a little known fact, I was Rookie of the Year my first year. I worked hard. My real reason to be an officer was to help those who can not or could not help themselves. I was the one who talked to the 13yrs. who had been molested by her daddy for 6 years, and she knew me and trusted me. She no longer lives with the horrible fear of him coming into her room. I did that!, I talked to the crazy lady who in her sick mind believed she was being stalked, and had been raped. Had she, no, she had not taken her meds. I helped her, in her mind she had been hurt, in her mind she deserved my help, in her mind, I was there for her. I helped her.. she got the meds, help she needed. I did that! I have told many a women about the shelters, I have told many a men, hit her again and I will find a way to put you in jail, with or without her help! I have colored with 3yrs. while officer's took pictures of momma's blackeye, I have changed diapers that I got from Walmart cause the woman left home too fast in fear of being hit again. I have taught over 5000 kids in our little town. I have hugged every single one of these kids, some of them numerous times, simply because they wanted one. Maybe it was the only one they got for that week. Yep, there really are kids out there who find their sactuary at school. My dare kids are starting to graduate now, and they still hug me, they would find me in the town and tell me of their impending marriages, their going away to war, their forthcoming baby. They go to effort to tell me these things. I care about these things. I have gotten baby clothes for the young teen mother, car seats for the mother of 3, diapers for the poor mother, and with all of this I did it in the best way I could to let the women know that everyone needs help sometimes, and that being helped does not and should not diminish her pride or her will to move forward. I tried to help in a way people could still hold their heads up, they could look at me, thank me because I cared enough to help, not because they got something free. The people I have worked with have been some of the best friends I will ever know, the people I worked to help and serve have been the most kindest, warmest, appreciative and supportive people that I could have ever hoped to have served. I love this little Payton Place. I loved the job of helping those who could not help themselves. But, because a wife felt I was unorganized ( the one time she really saw me work) and because I didn't fit the mold and because my loyalties were with a supervisor who felt our jobs were to serve more than to discipline I was removed from helping the kids and women. I was a good officer, just not the kind some thought our little town needed. At the end, I refused to do anything. I put a whooping 12 miles on my patrol car my last day. No one noticed my departure after 9yrs, no one really cared. I had been unhappy for awhile, guess they got sick of me.. thats ok. I will find my way, again, I will not be sad, I only hope someone will care enough to fill my spot and will truly care to help those who can't help themselves in my little town. I love the people in my little town. I find my happiness in the fact I did help a few, and there are many who will remember me long after I am gone. That no one can't take away. I will enjoy my time, and I will stop and smell the roses for a little while,, I will smile all day, then I will begin a new chapter helping those who can not help themselves. If you have any extra little prayers left over please spend one on me!
P.S. I promise this is the last one about poor me! Funny story on its way.